Under the carpet...

This blog is inspired by two things, first off an episode of 'Modern family' that we have been watching recently, I know I'm really late to the party on this one but, oh my days, is this programme funny! A group of dysfunctional people brought together by one common thing, in this instance, family. However, in some ways it's no different to the workplace, where a group of people are brought together by one common thing.

In the show, a comment by Cameron to his husband Mitchell, where he said "your family always sweep stuff under the carpet" really got me thinking...

If we keep sweeping problems under the carpet, eventually, we will trip up over the bump it creates and this is so true of life (especially men's mental health) where we ignore an issue rather than deal with it, which eventually causes a bigger problem and, in some cases, ends up with people taking their own lives as they see no other way out.

The second inspiration came from a line from one of my favourite bands, Keane. I was fortunate to see them play live at Latitude festival this summer. Their song, 'This is the last time' has the lines...

"Sweep it into the corner

Or hide it under the bed

Say these things that go away

But they never do".

Those who have worked with me or have seen my talks at events will have seen my 'Bottle' analogy. For those that haven't had the privilege, I get someone on stage to hold a bottle filled with water out at arms length. I then ask them how heavy is the bottle, at this point I get a variety of weight options back. I then keep talking whilst they hold the bottle out, after a few minutes I ask how heavy is the bottle now, and obviously it feels like it weighs more than it did. I point out that I haven't added anything to the bottle, it's just that by holding on to things they get heavy. Well, the same goes for our brains; the more we hold onto 'mental baggage' the more it holds us back and eventually we get to a point, sometimes called 'paralysis by analysis', where overthinking stops us from doing what we want to do.

This has the same outcome as sweeping things under the carpet - eventually we get tripped up.

The trick is to not hold onto things, or sweep them under the carpet, but to deal with them as soon as you can, no matter how big, or bad you may feel the problem is. You will be surprised how by sharing things, they can be resolved much quicker, and before they manifest into potentially much bigger problems and issues.

By sharing, it means our bottle doesn't get too heavy, and this allows us to continue without the 'paralysis by analysis' kicking in.

I've experienced first hand how bottling things up doesn't work, and my brother saw no way of getting the help he needed, and sadly took his own life. This is why I'm passionate about helping people and getting men to open up about their feelings and emotions.

If you know someone who is sweeping things under the carpet, please point them my way - you never know, it may make the difference, that makes the difference.